Here I am again, making a similar post to the last time I stopped in on this blog. Perhaps I’m slightly more depressed and anxious than the last time, and dealing with different issues than when I was still a university student struggling to meet deadlines, but the comparison still stands. I’ve come back because I know I need an outlet for the myriad of feelings I have – regarding my transness, my queerness and my muslimness and the cultural struggles I’m facing at home. Not to mention other issues surrounding my relationship and my mother’s health. It’s got to a point where I haven’t been writing anything at all and I know it’s because I feel like I can’t be open about who I am on platforms where I am identifiable – mainly because I’d be judged. Even if I’m not talking about explicitly trans and queer stuff.
So it comes back to writing on this blog, in the hopes that I can clear my mind enough to write about other, less deeply personal issues on more public platforms, and develop my writing more because it’s something I genuinely enjoy. Well, as much as a depressed person can enjoy anything.
But in order to actually write and not give up five seconds after beginning, I need to cultivate a plan of attack for how I’m going to approach this and other responsibilities I have. Like searching for a job. I think I’ll try to write a piece for this blog at least once a week and see where it goes from there. I don’t want to make too elaborate a plan because I know I’ll end up giving up before I’ve started and I honestly really need this.
butch brown qt 